A Room of My Own

Recently, we have worked on making a space for me to piddle. I needed a desk and storage space close at hand. I also needed a spot for a small book case.

This is a big house. But, I needed a spot that could be private and closed off when visitors come. I didn’t want to have to pick up a mess in the middle of a project when having company. I didn’t want to worry about supplies being where little hands could come to harm. I need our bedroom serene and our public rooms uncluttered. I need the guest room clear of messes. His work room is too full and too chaotic for me to share with him.

There is a large pantry, or utility room, as Mother called it. I call it the wash room. Washer, dryer, second icebox, upright deep freezer, small sink, a closet with deep shelves, a built in storage pantry. Lots of room for a desk, too. I now have a spot. I am enjoying the space very much.

I am surprised at my response. It was with some reluctance I decided to try out my idea. He has been nothing but supportive and helpful. He helped bring home and put together the desk I found at the second hand store. I am typing this sitting here at the desk. Listening to the rain outside. The lamp sitting up high providing soft light to work.

I also share this room with our puppy dog. He has not bothered anything in here. I did have to move his kennel bed out. I will store it in the shed in case of emergency. We retrained him to sleep on his blanket in a different spot in the wash room.

I don’t have all my things sorted and set up quite yet. I am taking my time and arranging as I go. I would also like to get my iPod loaded up with music and have a speaker hook up to listen. I need a no-tick clock, too. I have a digital clock to put in here. But it is on the back porch. So I need the no-tick clock for the back porch when I move the other one in here.

I am hopeful this new arrangement will lead to greater creative expression. Both with words and textiles. With paper or canvas and color, too. I have things to work on. Now, I have a place to work. Oh, no. That means I have fewer excuses.

I am working through a book about developing creative expression. I have worked the book previously. It was about five years ago. I have golden memories from the first time through it. I am expectantly hopeful to have an even better experience this time through.

For anyone interested, it is Finding Water by Julia Cameron. She is better known for The Artist’s Way. I have it also. Finding Water was better for me. Although I confess it has been a long time since I explored The Artist’s Way.

So many projects in my plans, so many books to read, so many things to study, so many words to write. I am trying to keep at it. Keep showing up. Do the work. Let go of outcomes. Let Him work out what He wants me to learn. Creating with the Creator, Himself, watching and encouraging. Awesome feeling. Even when it is just a simple stitch or a few paragraphs on a blog post. Even when it is just my old coloring book and chest of crayons. Maybe is it simply the quietness that allows me to hear His still small voice. “Here, child, have an orchid.”

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Busy Orchiding

I finally got to “unwrap” my birthday present this past Friday! He bought tickets a while back. He took me to see Travis Tritt perform! It was a wonderful event. The songs brought back so many memories of our past.

We have had so many wonderful years of living and loving together. We have had our problems, of course. But, we have continued to love each other through it all. We laughed as we remembered the songs. And we joked about some of the lyrics.

He has been helping me get a project done and I appreciate it so much. It’s one thing for someone to tell you they support your plan. But, actually helping move it forward makes all the difference.

Saturday was spent apart. He went to work on things for hunting season. I took one aunt to see the other. We had a smaller group this time, but still had a ball like always! Shrimp gumbo, brownies and homemade ice cream on the menu. Old fashioned dresses and bonnets for the group photos.

Our daughter had her iPad full of photos from the wedding and honeymoon. The aunts spent a long while looking through all of them while the cousins peeked over their shoulders.

Sunday was my first week to teach in my new full time position for the senior adult ladies class. Teenagers have nothing on them for being rambunctious! I love to teach and am looking forward to the continued experience.

After service Sunday evening, we caught up with a couple from church and had supper. We are in the process of getting acquainted with folks at our new church. She is precious and has been warm and welcoming to me from the first day. But, then, so has everyone else. We have been blessed to find a church family so full of love for the Lord and for others.

Looking forward through the fall weekends, I have lots of plans.  Festivals, birthdays, Hallowe’en, hunting season.  It will be the holidays before we know it!

The weekend brought many orchids. Monday, not so much. Maybe Tuesday will be back on track. Meanwhile, I will savor the fragrance of my weekend blossoms looking forward to many more.

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Monday Blues

I don’t hate my job.  But, Monday is a challenge for me.  Not because of my job, but because of all the undone things from the weekend.

I always seem to have too much to do on the weekends and in the evenings.  But, I don’t stay as busy doing as I should.  I like to sit and drink coffee.  Therefore, I stay behind.

I keep trying to remember I am not 25 and super woman anymore.  I used to go out in the yard and work all day in the flower beds.  I used to start at one end of the house and clean top to bottom, back to front, in a day.

Not only do I not have the physical energy and stamina, I don’t have as much enthusiasm to do so.  I want it done.  But, other things attract my attention.

I keep trying to figure out how to do all of it.  Work all week, cook supper, keep up with the washing, do all the dozens of little things that need doing to keep house. When do I get to the ceiling fans?  What about the rose bush that needs a good feeding before it gets too cold?

So, why didn’t I get a lot done this past Saturday?  Well, he got his four-wheeler running. He took it to the woods.  No way am I staying home when I can ride with him!  Of course, it was rough and tumble and wore me out.  But, I would rather be with him and be behind on chores any day of the week.

Someday, I will have time and energy to do all of it and keep up with everything.  But, not at the expense of time with him.

What about the upcoming weekend?  The women will be gathering again.  I have gumbo and ice cream to mix up.  Four generations of women laughing, talking, and just by being together, gaining courage and strength.

Mother would be so pleased. Is so pleased.  I am sure she knows about it.

We have lived in the house Mother built for ten years now.  No. She doesn’t haunt it.  But, when my little nieces come to visit, I feel Mother there with us.  When we all gather to visit at her sister’s house, no doubt her spirit comes to linger and laugh, too.  I certainly feel her closer after the visits.

We are still living her legacy.  Love, laugh, pull together to face the difficult things life brings.

The dust and the weeds will have to wait.  Love calls. I answer, “Here I come!”

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Lockhart

We went to the longhorn sale in Lockhart this weekend. Got to see lots of folks we have known for these many years in the business. Sold a cow and calf; bought a cow and calf and a heifer.

I have a young friend who lives in the Northwest.   Oregon cowgirl. She came with her father again this year. We are running buddies for the sale. She and I like to go to town and do a little shopping around the old town square. This old lady loves hanging out with that lovely teenager.

This year I went with her to a new spot for me. The San Marcos outlet mall. We had a good time and it was an adventure. I picked up a few things and so did she. She had been there before and had even gone the day before to scope out things.

During the sale, we went downtown as usual. They didn’t have the soap she likes at our favorite store this time. But, we always like prowling through all the shops of both new and used things. Lots of vintage and antiques to dig through. Some of the other ladies from the sale barn had made their way to town as well.

When I go to Lockhart or to other similar environments, I always get antsy to be creative. I see things others have put together and want to do something myself.

Today, I have salved the itch with my crochet thread and Pinterest. I crochet plain old dish rags from pretty cotton thread. I don’t really know what I want to do. Plus, I have given most of my crafting things to my daughter or the charity thrift store.

But, I have made some progress. I have talked with him about an idea for a work space. We are going to try to get something set up for me. I asked him about some ideas I have and he is going to help me with them. Simple as that. Just ask. Ask for help.

Often my argument against myself is the end product. What will I do with the end product? At this point, I am not thinking too much about that. Trying to focus on ideas and go through what I have at hand. Also, I am trying to pick one idea to pursue to completion. If I find success, I will probably share it here.

Fall and Hallowe’en are nearing. I would like to do some seasonal decorating. We don’t have much company, so it will have to be for me to enjoy. Can I stretch enough to do something just for me? If he and I are the only ones to see, will I be okay with that? Must I have a large audience or can it be an audience of two? I must consider myself to matter enough for special effort. Again, this lines up with the end product issue. Doing the creative process is one thing. Having an end product is something else. The southern girl in me thinks it is all about the show. Hospitality. Setting the stage for an event. I want to do things for my own satisfaction and pleasure. If someone else sees and enjoys, fine. If not, that will have to be fine, too.

“Don’t worry. Everything is going to be amazing.” That is the saying on the shirt I bought in San Marcos. It is under the motif of a full moon. Last week’s post. Aunt’s Facebook share. Shirt. Somehow it means something special. I am trying to listen to the message. Be still and know. He is trying to reassure me. I want to open my heart to new risks, challenge my mind with new ideas, let myself feel amazing.

I am not trying to save the world or even change it. I am simply trying to be who I should be. If it helps someone else, good. I have paid my dues in life. Children raised and wonderfully successful. Parents, grandparents nurtured until they left this world. Supporting friends and family the best I could at the given moment. Even now doing more of the same. I am working on giving myself permission to be just a little selfish. To be a little self-directed. To become more me. My shirt says it will be amazing!

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