I’m sitting at the south window of our bedroom looking out at sun dappled woods. The pale winter sky peaks through a mix of intricate gray lace and pine green plumes.
This is my darkest month. I have always struggled with the cold dark days of February. The odd thing about my trouble is that I love the winter. I love all the seasons in their turn. It doesn’t seem logical that I would struggle emotionally through any of them. I love the steel gray of the low sky that comes with the Southeast Texas winter. The long shadows that stretch across the land and the colored leaves which cling to trees till spring ones push them off at last.
I have promised myself I will do all the things needed to not let the bottom fall out of my emotions. What are all the things? Seeking sunlight at every opportunity. Lighting candles everywhere. Soaking in a hot tub of bath water in the evenings. Getting fully dressed even when staying in for the day. Riding with him when he goes on cow business. Making time for friends. Making time for Duchesses. Making myself see the beauty around me.
I have set myself a real challenge. This Valentine weekend, I plan to have both Duchesses spend two nights. We may go to a birthday party Saturday I’ve been invited to or we may stay here and have the tea party I had already planned. It will depend on how well we all sleep Friday night for the most part.
Thinking about the weekend, making plans, gathering supplies, making ready has been a very good way to keep the gloomies at bay. Looking forward to all the love and affection exchanged between the three of us is a perfect way to keep my heart up.
Most importantly, I am trusting in the Lord to comfort me as He always has. Rock helps me get through this. I have him and some others who pray specifically for my difficult days of winter.
This year they don’t seem so dark after all…………………
I have been trying to get some walking done to improve my energy level, reduce my pain level and combat anxiety. I blame everything on hormones! We discovered one of mine is almost zero, so I started taking it by pill.
I was introduced to a new therapy. New to me. Dry needling. It is done by a physical therapist and my insurance covers it. Like acupuncture, in a way, I guess. I have only seen that procedure on television. Dry needling uses very fine needles to penetrate the muscles and disrupt them. It is supposed to promote new muscle cell growth to help with the realignment therapy.
Yes. It hurts. But, I am willing to deal with the pain of the procedure if it will relieve the daily pain in my hip and back and improve my mobility. I have tiny girls to play with. Granny needs to be able to do everything with them.
What does that have to do with the picture and the title of this post? I was bitten on my left foot by a copperhead on my 15th birthday. The snake only had one fang. It was dark and the ground was heavily littered with sycamore leaves. I was outside barefoot. I walked out into the yard and back on the same path. I must have stepped on him going out and he was after me when I came back. Daddy found him the next morning and killed him, thereby discovering the single fang. We had supposed it was a scorpion sting up to that point.
The bite itself felt like an electric shock running from the side of my foot up my entire leg. I swelled up from mid thigh down and laid up in the bed to recover with no after effects other than the swelling. The dry needling has moments of similar electric shocks when a nerve or severely tense muscle is hit. So, yes, I am having “snake bite therapy” to help get better!!
I can’t even imagine the pain the beauty in the photo would cause likely culminating in death. He was wary and still until I was past him and he felt clear to move out of the way. The next day he was crossing back over the road going the other way. Still wary and watchful. More cautious of me than I was of him.
Most people want to kill them on sight. But, I was on his porch. He wasn’t on mine. He is a special part of a healthy ecosystem. I respect them. I fear the consequences of a bad encounter. But, I don’t want to kill them needlessly.
Strangely, I felt privileged to be afforded a second look at him the next day. The road is wide and flat and clear and he is brightly marked and large. Easy to see. I stay in the middle anyway, just in case he or a cousin is near the edge. I walked wide around and he patiently waited for me to clear his path.