I have one more week to complete my January plan to finish it or forget it. I need to make a good push the next couple of evenings. I need to make sure I haven’t missed anything that I wanted to get resolved. It is unlikely I will get everything done as intended.
Those big frames are still causing a roadblock. I haven’t done the project I planned. It was actually about the third plan for one of three. I like the idea of the project. But, I don’t want that hanging on my wall. What was I thinking? Back to square one.
If I do what I promised myself, the frames have to leave on February 1. This late in the evening with the week I have had, I don’t know what the outcome will be regarding this matter.
Monday, I went in to the 9-5 in tears. We have an upcoming audit and I was certain a critical portion of documentation was missing. He knew of my dilemma and prayed all morning for me. That afternoon, I found the documentation in my file right where I would have looked had I not been so certain I didn’t have it. Not only was the paperwork there, it was complete. That is the power of a praying man. That is the mercy of a loving Father.
This evening, while riding home from church, I told him he has a red phone directly to Him. It’s one of those that doesn’t even have a dial. He just picks up and it rings in Heaven and He answers. He told me I have the same. I told him no. I have to dial my phone. Someday, perhaps I will have faith as large as his. Meanwhile, I am very grateful and blessed because of his direct red phone connection to Him.
I have been noticing and reading about hygge. It is trending in my web orbit on various sites. As I read about it, I am not finding anything new to me. The Danes are crediting with creating a way to survive the long, cold winters by doing certain things.
Here in Southeast Texas, long cold winters don’t happen. However, we do have days strung together of damp, grey rain. This morning is one. Yesterday was one.
As long as I can remember, I have set myself to enjoy such days. I have the curtain drawn back and the window open to hear the rain. The lights are low. A candle flickers. My pillows are propping me up as I snuggle under my coverlets. A cup of tea is steaming on the nightstand. I have my journal at hand to scribble my thoughts.
I have spent time this morning thinking and planning. Pondering where I want to go with the projects I am working through this month. As an update, over the past week, I have hauled off some odds and ends to the charity shop. I have added things to the costume box for our daughter’s theater. I have dumped some projects. I will be continuing to haul off the junk associated with those projects.
Additionally, I have determined to dump the mindset that tells me I must have everything on our place clean and orderly before I can actually feel happy, content or satisfied. Several years ago, in an effort to fight off this very mindset, I wrote an exhaustive list of all the things necessary to achieve such a situation. I actually included: no fire ants anywhere on the place. We live on seven acres in Southeast Texas. I included no fire ants. Of course, it was one of those extreme exercises designed to show me how ridiculous are my thought processes. In the quiet of this morning, I recalled that and laughed all over again.
What does that have to do with now? I have some items on that very list that are not so ridiculous still holding sway over me. I am determined to rewrite the tape that plays in my head. “If this, then that” goes round and round. If I could get this done, I could have that. But, I am like the mule at the millstone going round in circles chasing the carrot that dangles on the line out in front of me.
Already I have significantly reduced the incoming flow of stuff. I have unloaded things. I am focusing on the things I really want to pursue. Not pursuing them, yet. I am thinking about those things rather than the carrot dangling out there.
I am allowing myself to truly enjoy the art of doing nothing. I am giving myself permission to be happy with being imperfect. I am granting myself leave to embrace my oddities. I was once described by a friend as one who marches to the beat of her own drummer. I have tried so hard to seem normal. To be less strange. To not distance people with my weirdness. I am giving myself permission to let it all go and see what stays. See who stays.
This is a good trend to follow. “To thine own self be true.” What year did W.S. write that? After 400 years, it is still a good trend to follow.