Topsy-Turvy

Topsy-Turvy
Sometimes I still get topsy-turvy. I drop into depression. I don’t know what triggers it. I don’t know how deep it will go or how long it will stay. But, I do notice as I write this, I am referring to the depression as a separate entity. I am calling the depressed emotions “it”. This has only developed in the last couple of years. Previously, I identified myself as depressed.
A couple of things I do for myself to treat the sadness are walking and acknowledgement. Walking is easy to explain. I have a route that takes about forty-five minutes to walk. There is a spot along the way I stop to voice praises and prayers and ask questions. I spend about five minutes doing this. I don’t struggle for answers. I try to do the walk several times each week.
The second thing is acknowledgement. I see my emotional mood and my mental state. I notice how I am feeling the way I might notice the floor needs sweeping or the wash piling up. The sadness becomes a task to resolve. It (probably) is going to need doing again sometime. But, I know I can improve the issue before me now. I no longer fear that the sadness will go too deep and never go away. It has taken 30 years to learn to manage the depression. I don’t use medications or outside therapy. I rely on Him and him to watch over me.

The rain falls. I cry. I hear a faint melody.
The sun shines. I love. I see a ray of hope.
The wind blows. I breathe. I know I will have another dance.
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