Living

The Feeling of Freedom

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One of the loveliest sites to me is an expanse of lush green lawn.  Neatly manicured and surrounded by a jungle of vegetation.  I like my flower beds and borders, but I love my lawn.  We have almost completely cleared up the area where the oak tree was removed.  The turf is damaged and of course the ground is bare where it’s shade and leaves restricted growth of grass.  It is still early enough in the season to recover the damaged areas.

 

I did change my plans about the flower bed at the front of the house.  I will restrict everything to the area nearest the house.  I will keep things along the fences and along the house.  I want to reduce the edges to maintain.  And again I want to keep the green expanse unbroken as much as possible.

 

Deep breaths of air.  The open area feels like deep breaths of air.  I feel the same when I am on the lake or at the sea shore.  A far horizon.  Even if it is only a few yards across the front yard.  Freedom.

 

What is freedom?  It is as personal in definition as terms like success or failure.  For some freedom means not being physically locked in chains.  For some freedom means no relationships to interfere with choices.  For some freedom means being able to walk without assistance.  No one is every truly free unless they are completely without confinement or relationships.  I have been reading the Tarzan series.  Even then, there is a law of survival that restricts him.  If one has a conscience, one is never free.  One is bound by honor, duty, integrity, love to respond with others than themselves considered.

 

But, one can still have a feeling of freedom.  Whether I stand on the lawn and breathe or float on the lake in the sunshine.  Or perhaps if I gaze into the eyes of one I love, I can feel the essence of freedom.  Freedom to love and be loved.

 

And freedom to love and accept myself.  Freedom to choose what to do with time not already committed.  Freedom to eat what I want, wear what I want, sleep when I want, where I want, read what I want, watch what movie I want, pray how I want, say what I want.  Simple freedoms.  Precious.  Blood bought.  Soldiers and sailors and Savior.  Blood bought freedom is mine.

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Our lush green lawn, watered with the blood of patriots and adventurers. Warriors and pioneers.  Deep breaths of freedom as I look over the open expanse.

A Long Week

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This has felt like a long week. I’m very glad for the upcoming three-day weekend and four-day work week to follow.

We have been working on the yard. He and our son cut a large oak down in the front yard several weeks ago.  It was way too close to the house.  It was a risk during storms.  The roots and overhanging limbs were too near the foundation and roof.  We have the debris almost cleaned up from that.

I am developing some more flower beds. I have a spiky yucca at the front of the house.  I decided I don’t like it being reachable by tiny fingers, so I am expanding the bed around it.  I have plenty of things to fill up a large area.  Elephant ears, day lilies, cannas, sago palms.  Although, this plan is subject to change.

There is a large mound of purple jew providing starts along the front of the house. I am trying to decide if I want to run it all the way across the front or stop at the front door where it is now.

He has set up a deck out back. It needs some more work.  I am already enjoying it, though.  I have supplies to transform a table and chairs to use outside under the carport.  I want the barbecue pit easier to use and a spot to camp when I am tending the groceries on the fire.

I love being outside. When we lived at Campers Cove, I set up a space with a glider, throws, pillows, a table.  I surrounded the area with pots of tropical plants.  It was situated so I could leave things out all day and go back and forth to my work and my rest.

The porch here is enclosed with windows. I love having it.  I spend most of my free time out here.  But, there is something about feeling the outdoors that has a healing effect on my soul.

The digging in the dirt I have been doing is also working its magic. Whether pulling weeds, relocating a plant, watering and feeding things, raking and burning, all are helpful.

I made a comment to a co-worker about my future retirement. I indicated certain things would change for me because I would have a different lifestyle.  It would be more like the way I lived before I joined the 9-5 throng.  I decided I don’t want to wait until later to have my chosen lifestyle.  I will do as much as I can in the time I have to create the life I dream about.

He has been helping me get things done I am physically unable to do. I am a middle-aged, fluffy female. My muscle strength is limited.  I have no idea how to make a tractor or chain saw work even if I were strong enough.  Thankfully, he has been spending time out with me doing those sorts of things.

No, I won’t be able to do everything right now. I can do a great deal, though.  So, I have started digging in the dirt with earnest. I have made up my mind to tackle big projects I have been putting off due to lack of time and energy.  At least that was my excuse. I will make the time and the energy will come.

I have made myself let down some barriers and visited face to face with some people. I have stepped out of my comfortable cocoon and connected personally with others. I still have a ways to go with this one.

I read a book that explained human energy. Barring physical illness, human energy is largely emotional.  It certainly is for me.  If I am tired after a long day or long week and he mentions something I really love doing or someplace I love to go, suddenly I have a surge of energy to get going.  If it is someplace or something I would rather not engage, I have even less energy and more fatigue.

I know if I get moving and keep moving, I will get to my goal. My destination, whatever it may be.  Or at least I will travel on the path toward it.  The journey is the thing.  To keep traveling the journey path.  Whatever it is and wherever it goes.

I believe if I keep following not my fickle heart, but the Spirit leading me, I will have contentment and satisfaction when I lay my head on my pillow to sleep. I listen to my gut feeling, my intuition.  That is where I find His answers for me.  I have known Him so long, I recognize His instructions.  A gentle peace or a hard conviction.  Or just a knowing something is right.  I don’t always heed, but He takes care of that, too.

Just a chair in the shade, a glass of iced tea, a flower or two around. Birds, frogs and bugs serenading me.  Pondering whether to move that plant over there or over here.  Plucking a ripe cucumber and a few squash to take in for supper.  Getting my heart ready to love him when he comes in the door.  Pretty good journey path if you ask me.