Another Blue Winter

My usual winter blues have arrived in full force.  February has always been a very difficult month for me.  Obviously cold is not the problem.  We have had record warm temperatures for a while.  Is it the low sunlight?  Probably.

Compounding the problem is what my health care provider and I believe is fibromyalgia.  I started a prescription medication today.  The pain and fatigue is constant in different levels of intensity.  The kind of ache that occurs with fever or the flu.  All the time.  I have sought help for this several times over the years.  Most providers just dismiss my complaints as stress and depression.  I told this one I don’t care what she calls it.  Just give me something to help me feel better.  It will take a few weeks to get results.  Interestingly, this time my trip to the provider was not from a feeling of desperation.  I have a feeling of positive expectation to have my symptoms relieved.

Despite this problem, I think I finally have what I need to complete a long standing project.  Family photos.  I am certainly not a scrap booker. I have boxes of photos I want to put into regular photo albums.  Over the years I have sorted through the stacks. I have passed along and throw away stacks and stacks.

I want to state how I came upon the albums.  I was on the way to the doctor’s office.  I was thinking of the things I wanted to look for in the city shops.  Suddenly, I was impressed to pray over “my plans”.  I had photo albums on my list among other things.   About the only thing I purchased were the albums and additional pages to fill them.  The rest of this story is that they were on sale half price.  I got them at Hobby Lobby.  I picked up a sheet of pretty poster board paper for something else for a couple of dollars.  That was it.  Nothing else purchased despite stopping at several places looking for some things on my list.

A definite yes.  That is how I am trying to operate these days.  When shopping, when cleaning and sorting, when doing anything, I am seeking a definite yes.  If I have a maybe, it is a no.  For example, today I went to a department store to check for a pair of shoes.  No shoes found.  But, purses were seriously on sale.  Oh, my! Temptation.  Serious temptation.  I found a purse I liked.  I didn’t love it. But I could think of several positives with it.  I went so far as to have the sales clerk check the actual sale price and got in line with it.  Suddenly, I realized I didn’t have a definite yes decision.  I had reservations about the color and a couple of the details.  I had reservations about buying a purse I could do without.  It does not fit in my 2017 theme to reduce.

He has been intensely concerned and supportive, as usual.  One of my best blessings is him.  I don’t deserve him.  I am very grateful to Him for him.

This is where I am this week. Positive expectation.  Seeking a definite yes.  Reducing distractions.

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