Getting To It

I finally got my attic back.  Over the past few years, changes in the housing setups for the children have landed quite a bit of stuff in my attic.  She had a jeep load and so did he.  I got everything down and took it to them.  Then promptly loaded my own stuff up there.  I had things tucked in closets and the washroom.  With a place to put things I don’t use often, I can make room to spread out things I do use regularly. 

The winter cleaning has finally begun.  I started with the washroom.  It is very large and has a lot of storage space.  With the boxes removed and put in the attic, I have space to move things from crowded closets.  My idea is to eliminate layers.  I want to be able to get something from a shelf without having to move other things around.  It will require getting rid of some things, too.  Things I don’t really want.

Both the children have their own homes now that our daughter has bought hers.  I have so many things I have held on to in case they want them.  It’s time to get my house together.  I don’t mind them not wanting things I will offer them.  I just wanted to allow them time to be in a place to take them if they do want them.  Otherwise, the Salvation Army will have a few more things on the shelves.

I have several empty boxes awaiting things.  I haven’t filled them up.  I thought I would have by now.  However, I have had more company than I had planned.  Wonderful company. 

I’m working on a system or whatever than calls for no zero days.  The idea is to have certain things I will do every day and tasks I have on my things to do list and each one counts.  If I do even one of the everyday tasks or one of the things to do, it makes it not a zero day.  One done is not a zero day.

The older Duchess was with me the other day and she and I were talking about it.  I was sort of thinking out loud about it at least not being a zero day.  She wanted an explanation.  I told her that had certain things to do and if I did even one it was not a zero day.  I named a couple of things I had done and she reminded me of a couple more things. 

Her encouragement made my heart warm.  The little ones are paying attention.  Lord, let me get more right than wrong for them to see and hear and feel.    

Sweetness

I got to see the nieces this weekend. One was celebrating her fourth birthday.  I did manage to catch her for a split second two or three times to steal a hug and kiss.  The other delight was napping when I got there.  I had to wait till Sleeping Beauty arose to get my hands on her.  And, no, I did not put her down or share her with her other relations.  I had a couple of hours to get a month’s worth of snuggles from the happiest baby on earth.  She is quieter and happier than my daughter was at that age.  That is saying volumes.  Her great-gran and I decided she knew before she was born how loud the other household members are and figured quiet patience was going to be the best course of action!

I stopped by the hospital to see my cousin. She harangued again about my writing a book. (I hope she never stops!)  I don’t have a story to tell.  Well, I don’t know if I do or not.  Certainly, I don’t envision my writing fictional work.  I hardly read fiction.  A good real life adventure story appeals to me vastly more than an imagined and improbable made up story.  Although, I have read some fiction recently.  I have a couple of new novels awaiting a lazy afternoon and a short wish list of a few more titles.  Perhaps allowing myself to relax into such leisure will inspire me to put pen to paper and work out the anecdotes in my memory and notions floating in my mind.

One real reason I put off writing is the same reason I put off reading novels and watching movies. I don’t want my tender heart to ache from things not really happening.  I fear writing will bring out all the carefully stored pain from the grief of losing my loved ones.  Things from the past.  Things not happening now. I despise feeling fear.  I know I will eventually face the fear and beat it back into the hell from which it creeps. I will write the heart ache onto paper and if the tears don’t blur the ink too greatly, I will attempt to share it with the world. If the Lord allows.

Love is the only thing that heals all things. Time is given credit for love’s work.  Time means nothing to some wounds.  Time only passes.  Love is the true healer.  After the passage of time, love comes stealing into a wounded heart.  Someone to love still holds fast.  Someone new to love enters the scene.  The wound is knit together with the bond of lasting love or a new love.  Love is not only for lovers.  It is for mothers and fathers, sons, daughters, and grandparents, brothers and sisters, cousins, nephews and nieces, uncles and aunts, and for friends.  Death, disease, divorce.  Destruction comes.  But, love is greater.   Love is the eternal choice.

Let me have a few someones to love, always. A baby in the mix is pure magic.  But, I will take a near half century old feller who has held fast to me these many years for the daily dose of everyday magic.  Love is what he and I have chosen for each other.  The fear will be faced and the stories written with his courage and His peace to shore me up against the tears.  Love is greater.

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