grandmother

A Ticket

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I have a ticket to fly to California! I am going to see our son and his bride. And I am going to touch a tummy to feel her kick, I hope!  She seems like a half remembered dream.  I can’t get my mind wrapped around the reality of her existence.  I see the pictures of the ultrasounds. And, yet….

I have felt a shift in my perception of my world, too. I don’t know if it is the recent birthday or the slowly developing thought of her coming.  Perhaps, both? Things I thought I wanted are fading. Even the things I thought I wanted for grands is changing.  I had some preconceived ideas about what I wanted to do and how I wanted things to be when they came to our house.  I may be letting go of those ideas in favor of more meaningful ones.

I was thinking about what my grandmothers meant to me. What happened when I was with them that made the difference? What made them so golden in my memory? They listened to me. They wanted me near them always. They just paused and connected with me.

I could tell them anything. Especially my maternal grandmother. I could say whatever and she would never be shocked.  Only one time did she fuss at me.  I was mad at my mother. I was about 18.  She told me to get over myself and be respectful and compliant with my mother’s wishes.  I don’t even know what the details of the disagreement were.

Time. Not toys, games, events, tea parties and costumes. Time is what they gave me. Never too busy to sit and snuggle or hold me in their laps.  Even as a gangly teen, my one granny would hold me in her lap. Our big adventures amounted to walking to the cemetery on a dark night or watching the full moon rise over the lake.

My paternal grandmother would let me do her makeup for her. I would smear the green primer over her smooth rosy cheeks.  Then, the foundation and powder. I think that is all she used.  I was quite young when I started.  I don’t recall ever seeing her correct my work.  She likely did when I wasn’t looking.  Later, after her stroke, when she would come visit, I would help her dress.  She didn’t really need the help, but it was a few moments of intimacy we both loved.

My own children were young when my mother left this world. They have some memories of her. His mother saw them to young adulthood before she left us.  Both of them left their mark on the lives of our children.  Our daughter is so much like both of her grandmothers. Our son, too, has some ideas traced to them.  His love of fun and ability to connect to people are part of that legacy.

What legacy will I create for the California Dream? I want her to know that she is loved as much as one human being can love another. Already. Even though she is elusive in my mind, she is rock solid in my heart.

I will be on a westbound airliner, soon, little one. The love is already pouring out of my eyes and down my cheeks.

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Her Wedding

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Our beautiful daughter has married her true love in a wonderful event this past Saturday. She combined the old and the new throughout.

The ceremony was held at the more than a century old farmhouse of our friends. We used Skype to connect to Oahu. Our son and our daughter-in-law were able to be with us through the latest satellite technology. Antique chairs combined with iPhones and iPads to have us all together to see them wed. My office mate first mentioned the satellite link up to me. I hadn’t considered it until then.  Her father gave her away while I held the camera for her brother and sister-in-law to watch.

Afterwards, we blended the current idea of cupcakes for the bride’s cake with her grandmother’s cake plate. The table also held her grandmother’s punch bowl set and was laid with the Battenberg lace tablecloth belonging to the same grandmother, my mother.

We indulged in sirloin steak at a table set with even more of her grandmother’s treasures. The tea cups are a collection of my mother’s. We use them every chance we get to have a special event. No two are alike. There are a few dozen in the collection. They always elevate things to something more with their delicate loveliness.

She used the flowers she had arranged for his and my vow renewal last year. She carried the bouquet she had made for me as well.

Her dear friend acted as official photographer for the day. If that wasn’t gift enough, she presented the bride with a handmade quilt sewn by herself and her grandmother.

Old and new. Tradition and modern. Very much like the bride. Understanding and honoring the old ways while expressing her own imagination and creativity in modern ways.

The local restaurant we used for the reception is owned and operated by a wonderful couple. He makes trademark cinnamon rolls as lagniappe occasionally for diners. We were generously provided more than we could possibly eat! The guests were thrilled with the take out boxes of cinnamon rolls, cupcakes, mints, and chocolate cake.

We wished the bride and groom away with traditional rice. They flew out to Maui the next afternoon. They are there now and will join her brother and sister-in-law on Oahu in a few days. Yes, there is a tropical system headed toward them. Prayerfully, it will pass far enough north to not interfere with the honeymooners’ plans!