Delayed Progress

I am continuing the process of reducing the items in the house and deep cleaning every inch.  I have had a slight delay.   

My Beast has been sick for two weeks.  He is still home recovering.  I was able to resume more normal activities this week.  Even with him here.

I never do house-keeping chores when he is home.  I will wash clothes or do the dishes, but not much more than that.  That’s no problem when he is working, but this is week three of him home.  I don’t really know why I don’t like to work on my bigger chores when he is home.  I just never did when we first married.  I was home full time the first nine years so I was used to working when he was out of the house.  He doesn’t do house work or cooking or anything like that, so it’s not as if we cook and clean together.  Our arrangement suits us and is nobody else’s business.

What progress have I managed?  Yesterday, I cleaned his bathroom thoroughly top to bottom using a toothbrush when needed.  And both the iceboxes have been cleared up and cleaned today.

Today also had some special time.  He and I went to the lease and filled deer feeders.  It’s late getting done.  Last week he was in the ER with post-plague pneumonia.  He finished his meds yesterday, so he figured it was time to get something done.  We took the tractor and used it to haul the corn to the feeders.  I rode sitting up on the side with him like we have done for so many years.  It’s one of my favorite things to do, going with him on the tractor or the buggy.  It was especially nice today after his having faced off with the plague and won. 

We give all the glory to our Lord.  His help and healing are what we prayed for in faith.  No. He isn’t completely over it.  But the Lord is completely involved with us. 

Lessons

My 9 to 5 has been giving me some lessons the past few weeks. Not bad things, just reminders.  A few months ago I was again moved into a certain position that I generally try to escape as soon as possible.  I have made up my mind I want to stay in it, if allowed, for the next three years until I retire.  The lessons relate to my maintaining detachment.  I always fuss at my co-worker friends about letting others elicit an emotional response from them.  My line is “if you are having an emotional response, either positive or negative, you have lost your professionalism”.  The business I am in requires such behavior.  It is far too dangerous otherwise.  I let more than one someone get me agitated when I should not have let it bother me.

Another recent lesson I have experienced (but not fully learned) is to just keep at it. I have started walking again.  It is still hot and the bugs are still buzzing and I can’t get to it as many days as I would like. But, I am going to keep at it.  It matters to me to do it.  It makes me feel better to walk through stress from the day and work out my sciatic nerve pain.  Better sleep is a major bonus, too.

I am keeping at my house. I got some chores caught up. Still have more to do.  I want to get some extra stuff out of here.  My dilemma comes with our daughter’s profession.  As a second year theater teacher, her prop room needs development.  I have some things for the prop room stacked up ready to deliver.  But, she lives an hour and a half away.  So, I just keep piling and moving the piles.  I will keep at it until I get things delivered to her.

This past weekend, we were blessed to participate in the Beth Moore simulcast at our church. I read her latest book, Audacious, last month. I am reminded again to keep at developing my relationship with Him.  I am not a holy roller at all.  I deeply love Christ.  I am a born-again believer.  But, I am a work in progress.  I can’t imagine how bad I would be if not for the tempering of the Holy Spirit.  I am pretty rough even with His influence.  It’s not about me, though. It is about Him and His love for me.  It is about Him using me to love others for Him when they can’t see Him.  I wish I was better at it.  I wish I wasn’t so easily agitated by some things.

I have a few other lessons I am trying to teach myself. I hope he can be patient with me while I work out some more of them.  Most of the time he notices without comment.  I have to be careful to not take the lack of comments as disapproval.  Sometimes he does comment.  I have to be careful to not take the input of comments as disapproval. He is the one with whom I always want to have a positive emotional reaction.  But, I am shy when it comes to him.  I am still afraid of disappointing him.  That seems silly considering how many years we have been married and how well he knows me.

I will keep at it. Learning and growing and maturing.  Like our bull pines, I will have to weather more storms and drop limbs from time to time.  Living and thriving means I will need to keep at my lessons.  Some I will learn the first time through.  Others will take many tries to learn.  Still others will require I keep at it till He calls me home.

 fullsizerender-18