decluttering

Unbelievable

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I have a thing for books.  All kinds of books.  I have how-to, self-help, fiction.  I have classics and pulp fiction paper backs.  I have beautiful books, cookbooks, ancient books.  Children’s books, art books, coloring books.  All kinds. 

Several years ago, I thinned my books and donated them. I regretted getting rid of some of them.  I bought them again, mostly used, on Amazon or at the local library’s annual book sale.  I think I got rid of them for the wrong reason.  I felt I “should” get rid of excess things thanks to my overindulgence in self-help books about getting rid of things. Since that time, I have been reluctant to thin again. 

I have a selection of books I call my hands off collection. No one can borrow them.  If you are my friend and want to read them, you have to come stay with me while you do.  You can get comfortable on the porch or on one of the beds in the back bedroom.  I’ll even cook for you. 

I don’t know what has clicked with me recently, but I found myself thinning my books.  Not the hands-off collection, but other books.  Especially the “self-help” ones. That has expanded to even more topics.  Some craft books and home decorating books have made it to the out pile.  I have enough in the pile to make it worth going to the second-hand bookstore that buys used books. What they don’t want, I will gladly give to the Salvation Army store. 

I think when I found I could buy Orchids on Your Budget on-line new or like new, I felt some release.  I actually bought three copies.  Now, that may seem silly.  I’m purging books because I bought three copies of a book I already have in the hands-off collection giving me a total of four copies.  That title is one of two books I have that will go in my purse if I have to evacuate.  The other is Headhunting in the Solomon Islands (not what it sounds like).  I can’t explain my love for them. They are both non-fiction from the 30’s.  The first is about living cheerfully and well on a budget.  The second is about two women who go to the South Pacific to capture sketches of the natives before they either became extinct or “modernized”.  Who knows what would happen if I find more copies of the second one?  I might really unload some junk.  (I haven’t look, yet.)

In the interest of being transparent, I have a long list of books I want to acquire with an idea to read them and a pile of books recently acquired from used book sales, with an idea to read them.  I am not quitting the book business.  I am trying to quit the keeping business.  Keeping for the wrong reasons.  I have new courage to face other areas of the house now that I have done the unbelievable and purged so many books with more in the target zone.  Still, I tried to face the scarf collection this morning without success.  Too much too soon. 

I will not give up on my process.  I will try to expand on this line of thought and work in the coming weeks. The reasons for all the keeping and the reasons for trying to stop keeping.  I do want to say now, though, I don’t have all that much.  I don’t have a lot of things in the attic.  I don’t have a garage or storage building or rented space.  I have only two or three medium size tubs of Christmas decorations.  I could pile all the items I have stored on shelves or closets in the middle of the living room floor and still be able to walk around it.  But, too much of it is stuff I don’t really use over the course of the year. Too much is stuff I acquired for the wrong reason. Now that I have done what I consider unbelievable, I will be challenged to do even more unbelievable things to prove myself to my own self.  That is the only proving I am interested in these days anyway……Unbelievable. 

Housewife

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I was reading back through some of my old journals recently.  There is a pattern of trying to work out how to get things lined out like I want them.  Things like how the house is arranged or a schedule to keep up with the chores.  I recall when the children were small and we lived in California.  Our house there was sparsely furnished.  We didn’t have much stuff in the way of toys, books, clothes, dishes, tools, etc. 

Over the course of a lifetime, we have accumulated a lot of things.  I drag home junk from the thrift stores, book sales or Walmart.  He drags home stuff from the feed store or cattle auction or someplace.  Our parents and grandparents and others are gone and we absorbed some things from their lives.  It adds up over time.  A little here and a little there.  Before I know it, I’ve got too much. 

Periodically, I go through things and pile stuff in the jeep and haul it to the charity shop.  Some things end up in my daughter’s prop room and costume closet in her theater class.  We have bingo at church and at a ladies’ retreat for which I donate prizes.  I am not above re-gifting something if it doesn’t work out for me and I know the recipient would love it. 

There is that age old rule: a place for everything and everything in its place.  I sometimes watch the shows with the hoarders.  I used to watch the one with the team that would come in and clean up and organize things for people who weren’t actually hoarders, just overloaded and overwhelmed.

I have to walk through my house and remind myself that what I do have stored isn’t really all that much.  I don’t have a basement or garage or even a shed for storage.  I have very little in boxes aside from three or four medium size tubs of Christmas decorations.  I must confess a few too many toys for certain little girls.  And far too many dishes and pots and pans and books.  (No comment needed on this subject from Rock!)

I still dream of the days when we first moved in to the house at Campers Cove and when we lived on Monterey Bay.  Maybe it’s not so much the place, but the time.  Our children were little and growing into the fine adults they have become.  Maybe it’s the little boy and the little girl who used to fill those houses that I miss.

I knew then these days would come. I tried to slow down time.  To hold them in my arms a little longer.  But, the sands of time are steady and sure.  They made their way into the world and have created their own little ones to love. 

If I had some advice to give younger wives and mothers, it would be to keep it simple.  Eat on paper plates all week if it’s going to be one of those.  Don’t try to have everything perfect all at one time.  Give things a lick and a promise and let it go.  I finally figured out that no one was going to come inspect my house or feature it in a magazine.  I guess the equivalent now is that no one is going to post pictures of my house on Instagram unless it’s me.  And only I can see the pile of clothes on the bed that I didn’t fold yesterday behind me while I photograph this staged set for the world to see.

One praise for my Rock among many.  Back when the children were home, he would often have to find his clean socks in the laundry basket of clothes waiting to be folded and put away.  He never complained.  They were clean and he was okay with that.  More modern women will howl why didn’t he fold and put away the clothes.  I have always had an easier job and shorter work hours and an easy commute. It’s the way we want things.  I also take out my own trash.  I tease him that he doesn’t even know where the kitchen is.  Perspective, attitude, expectations.   

One of my favorite subjects to read and study about is housekeeping.  The craft of it.  The history of it.  The lore and mysteries of it.  The oldest profession is not what most claim.  Eve was the first one to build a fire and create a hearth for the men to come home to.  I am one of the most ancient of sisterhoods when I claim my title of house wife or homemaker.  I spent 27 years splitting my time and energy with a 9 to 5.  Many of those years, there were children at home and ailing parents to care for.  My job outside my home was never more than a job for me.  I had no special training or degree or career to follow out there.  My career is and has always been that of home keeper. House wife.  Rock’s house wife. 

How do I want my days to feel?  When I lay down at night, I want to be sure I haven’t let frustrations over temporal things get in the way of eternal things.  Yet, I often do.  Even now. Retired. Too much time on my hands most days.  I still get off track, distracted by things that aren’t in line with my expectations for my days. At the end of the day, did I do what was needed to take care of him.  Did he have a good supper?  Does he have clean clothes for tomorrow?  Did I take care of the household business for the day? 

What is needful?  Nutritious food, something to drink, a comfortable bed, clean clothes to wear, a warm shower. Love and cheerful companionship, affection and attention.  If a home has that, whether two people, one person and a critter, or a whole passle of folks, then that home has more than most of the rest of the world.  Rock and I are blessed.  Don’t know why us, but very grateful to the Lord for it. 

I’m sure I will keep rearranging furniture and sorting through things to get rid of one way or another.  I don’t think I will ever have things as simple as they were on Monterey Bay or even at Campers Cove. But, it’s a goal.  Something to strive for.  Everyone one needs something to work on and to feel some joy at accomplishment over.  For my simple heart, I have my housekeeping as a career.  This vocation along with a little dancing barefoot in the kitchen and passionate kisses and I am one very happy old gal!  Enough of this for today.  I’ve got some clothes to fold……………feeling some orchids raining.