friendship

Longhorns and Fences and Friends

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We had a great time in Fort Worth after the meeting.  Dinner at a fancy place in downtown.  Eight of us laughing and eating and discussing concerns in a relaxed setting.  The meetings of the day were long and tense making the release in laughter among friends even better.

Some of these people we only see a few times a year.  Yet, we have a bond through our shared interest in Texas longhorn cattle.  One of us has been raising them over half a century, one about five years. Rock and I have been at it 28 years or so. 

There are a lot of memories attached to the part of our lives concerning the cows.  Some of the craziest are episodes of chasing the ones who got on the wrong side of the fence.  That may be why I am so sensitive concerning the condition of fences. 

Fences containing livestock should be tight and strong.  Fences between people’s hearts should be delicate and tender. 

Certainly, each of us should maintain boundaries that protect ourselves from being consumed or abused by others.  Even someone who loves one dearly can cross over to lack of consideration or taking advantage or failing to return affection and attention.  Paying attention to the boundary between me and the ones I love is crucial.  I find myself getting too far out in the middle of the field and then feeling alone in the vastness. 

I have been blessed in recent years with a few ladies in my life that wave to me from the fence and bring me back over to reengage with their companionship.  I think to most acquaintances, I appear to have it all together.  I am like the duck gliding smoothly across the lake while paddling madly beneath the surface.  And I know there are monsters lurking beneath the surface of the lake.  Monsters of depression, anxiety, grief. 

They haven’t caught up with me much lately.  And when they have, I was able to escape fairly quickly.  Rock can attest to the positive impact of my having allowed myself to sit on the fence rail and visit with my golden friends. 

And he can attest to the fact that I am a pretty good cow catcher when called upon to do so.  Not much good at cutting and penning, but I can get them called back in through the gate when they cut loose.  Patience and taking my time are needed for that task. 

It’s the same with cultivating friends; patience and taking our time are needed to chase all the squirrels out of our heads and into our running conversations.  Got some more of that on the schedule for later this week.  Having someone who will listen, not judge, ask searching questions, accept and really understand, probe further if things are not clear, challenge self-assessments, is such a treasure.  A blessing from the Lord. I praise Him I have a few of those and that I have him supporting my time with them. 

An old picture. I still like it.

Enough Love

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I was sitting on the porch holding my great niece.  She is six months old and pure joy.  She is one of the happiest babies I have ever met.  She is doing this delightful thing of clapping the bottoms of her feet together when she lays on her back playing and laughing.  While I was holding her, I was suddenly overcome with the notion that I have to love her and her sister enough to make up for the ones missing.  They should have my mother and father still here.  There are other family members whose health and other factors reduce the time and attention available to spend with them.  I want them to feel the love I felt from my grandparents and my parents. A love that flows through time and space to them.  So much love and delight from generation to generation.

I have to talk about him for a moment.  He cooked us the best ribs and chicken for dinner today.  He is so wonderful to take time to cook something special.  Everything he cooks turns out perfect every time.  I fixed some green beans with browned butter and almonds as well as herbed corn on the cob.  I had picked up some Hawaiian rolls to go along.  For a light dessert, we had pineapple angel food cake. .  My niece and her family were here.  My angel daughter was here.  We visited and cooked and ate and played with the girls.   I don’t think my niece and her honey ate any cake.  They had to get loaded and on the road to get home.

The porch is quiet now.  I am savoring the memories freshly made.  I sting in my eyes, though.  Missing my son and his bride.  They would have been here today, too, had they been in Texas.

On Friday, he and I went to Lockhart.  On the way, we stopped to see my cousin and her husband.  She is one of my anchors.  She remembers so much of the old ways and the ancestors from years past.   She is actually my mother’s first cousin and so of that generation.  Being with her always helps me feel better about life.

We went on to our destination and had time to visit with friends from Oregon.  My young friend is a delight to be around.  Her father is a good friend to us.  She keeps telling me she wants to come to Texas to go to college.  I have reassured her father I will keep up with her.  She is a senior in high school and Oregon is a long way from her Daddy, the rest of her family, and her friends.  The reality may be less appealing than the dream for her.  I am here for her if she needs me.  I remember her coming to the kitchen at the sale barn maybe 3 years old in her cowboy boots.  Enough love for her, too.

He raises longhorns.  I am on the paperwork, too.  But, he does the real business.  Sometimes I help by standing in the way to hopefully keep a cow going the right direction.  Maybe open or close a gate or pick up feed at the feed store.  Not much real help.  But, I love the cows.  We brought home a very nice cow to add to our herd.  We got her at the Butler Sale in Lockhart.  She was bred and branded by the previously mentioned cousins.  Longhorns are more than cattle to me.  They are living history.  They are part of my history.  As a Texan and an American, I understand the difference they made in making our nation what it has become.  Enough love for him to help out.  Enough love for history to appreciate what we have.

I have a cousin struggling with illness and her mother doing all she can to help her.  I have a friend dealing with a very ill mother and personal struggles as well.  I have another friend recently dealt a hard blow in her life trying to get her feet under her and regroup.  I don’t know what to do sometimes except go sit with them, call or text them, pray with and for them.  Enough love for them.

The wonderful thing about love is that there is always enough.  Loves brings love.  Genuine love.  The kind of love that needs nothing in return.  Unconditional.  The love needed comes from His Love.  He is Love.  God is Love.  Letting go and letting Him use me to love others.  That is what I want.  That is what He wants for me, too.  He wrote it clearly in His Book.  Enough love.  Always enough.

Labor Day.  Summer’s End.  A final fling.  Fall’s Beginning.  Another season.  Always turning and returning seasons.  As life has its seasons, love has its seasons. The labor of love is no real labor.  Enough love from Him, for Him, from him, for him.  Enough love from the ancestors to the descendants.  This is my season for loving.  The grandparents’ season has passed.  The parents’ season has passed.  This is my season.  My season to do the labor of love.  I pray I do it as well as they did.   Enough love to sustain through the seasons to come.  Enough love.

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