Longhorns and Fences and Friends

We had a great time in Fort Worth after the meeting.  Dinner at a fancy place in downtown.  Eight of us laughing and eating and discussing concerns in a relaxed setting.  The meetings of the day were long and tense making the release in laughter among friends even better.

Some of these people we only see a few times a year.  Yet, we have a bond through our shared interest in Texas longhorn cattle.  One of us has been raising them over half a century, one about five years. Rock and I have been at it 28 years or so. 

There are a lot of memories attached to the part of our lives concerning the cows.  Some of the craziest are episodes of chasing the ones who got on the wrong side of the fence.  That may be why I am so sensitive concerning the condition of fences. 

Fences containing livestock should be tight and strong.  Fences between people’s hearts should be delicate and tender. 

Certainly, each of us should maintain boundaries that protect ourselves from being consumed or abused by others.  Even someone who loves one dearly can cross over to lack of consideration or taking advantage or failing to return affection and attention.  Paying attention to the boundary between me and the ones I love is crucial.  I find myself getting too far out in the middle of the field and then feeling alone in the vastness. 

I have been blessed in recent years with a few ladies in my life that wave to me from the fence and bring me back over to reengage with their companionship.  I think to most acquaintances, I appear to have it all together.  I am like the duck gliding smoothly across the lake while paddling madly beneath the surface.  And I know there are monsters lurking beneath the surface of the lake.  Monsters of depression, anxiety, grief. 

They haven’t caught up with me much lately.  And when they have, I was able to escape fairly quickly.  Rock can attest to the positive impact of my having allowed myself to sit on the fence rail and visit with my golden friends. 

And he can attest to the fact that I am a pretty good cow catcher when called upon to do so.  Not much good at cutting and penning, but I can get them called back in through the gate when they cut loose.  Patience and taking my time are needed for that task. 

It’s the same with cultivating friends; patience and taking our time are needed to chase all the squirrels out of our heads and into our running conversations.  Got some more of that on the schedule for later this week.  Having someone who will listen, not judge, ask searching questions, accept and really understand, probe further if things are not clear, challenge self-assessments, is such a treasure.  A blessing from the Lord. I praise Him I have a few of those and that I have him supporting my time with them. 

An old picture. I still like it.

Monday Blues

I don’t hate my job.  But, Monday is a challenge for me.  Not because of my job, but because of all the undone things from the weekend.

I always seem to have too much to do on the weekends and in the evenings.  But, I don’t stay as busy doing as I should.  I like to sit and drink coffee.  Therefore, I stay behind.

I keep trying to remember I am not 25 and super woman anymore.  I used to go out in the yard and work all day in the flower beds.  I used to start at one end of the house and clean top to bottom, back to front, in a day.

Not only do I not have the physical energy and stamina, I don’t have as much enthusiasm to do so.  I want it done.  But, other things attract my attention.

I keep trying to figure out how to do all of it.  Work all week, cook supper, keep up with the washing, do all the dozens of little things that need doing to keep house. When do I get to the ceiling fans?  What about the rose bush that needs a good feeding before it gets too cold?

So, why didn’t I get a lot done this past Saturday?  Well, he got his four-wheeler running. He took it to the woods.  No way am I staying home when I can ride with him!  Of course, it was rough and tumble and wore me out.  But, I would rather be with him and be behind on chores any day of the week.

Someday, I will have time and energy to do all of it and keep up with everything.  But, not at the expense of time with him.

What about the upcoming weekend?  The women will be gathering again.  I have gumbo and ice cream to mix up.  Four generations of women laughing, talking, and just by being together, gaining courage and strength.

Mother would be so pleased. Is so pleased.  I am sure she knows about it.

We have lived in the house Mother built for ten years now.  No. She doesn’t haunt it.  But, when my little nieces come to visit, I feel Mother there with us.  When we all gather to visit at her sister’s house, no doubt her spirit comes to linger and laugh, too.  I certainly feel her closer after the visits.

We are still living her legacy.  Love, laugh, pull together to face the difficult things life brings.

The dust and the weeds will have to wait.  Love calls. I answer, “Here I come!”

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