I have not been seeing things correctly lately. I am beating myself up about not doing enough creative work. But, I have been producing. Maybe not in volume. But, I have done some things.
I potted up two sago palms and filled top of pots with marble rock. They now enhance the front entrance to our home.
I cooked a recipe of Oriental Chicken I have had for years. I thought it turned out great. It tasted like I thought it would taste and I liked it.
I crocheted a stack of dish washing rags and dish drying rags for my daughter. I am working on some for my own use.
I have posted on Raining Orchids each week and included a photograph of my own production. Each photo I have used is one I have taken with my phone and edited with the simple program included in the camera application.
I continue to challenge myself to being as honest as I can when writing for Raining Orchids.
I continue to challenge myself to do what I need to do to be better at everything I do.
I smeared paint on paper and found some satisfaction in the exercise as well as the results. Yes, I actually painted, again, finally. I set up a TV tray on the porch and brought my paint box out. An hour or so later, I put everything away. But, I had four pieces done. Two of them were more pleasing. All were learning exercises.
As a result of the production, I bought some more paper and a few canvas boards. I found it acceptable to use the temporary work station after all. I had been resisting that idea. A quote from a book states something about it not being the workplace, but the desire to work that matters.
The upcoming days include plans for a trip with him. We will be seeing dear friends. My girls are scheduled to come see us when we return home. I will have a couple of days off to putter around the house and garden. I will have opportunity to cook and bake for my family.
Well, I did not get everything done as I had hoped. I did get rid of almost everything that is not in progress or does not fit my vision or still hold interest for me.
I will claim the rainy weather as part of the problem. Hard to paint furniture out on the carport when it is raining.
The small box of fabric is still here. I have not been willing to let it go. When I went through it, the projects I want to do are still viable and I am still interested.
The ceramic mermaid is still on the counter getting additional layers of paint whenever I get a chance. She is almost finished.
I am going to “blame” him for not cutting the hooks from the fishing lures, yet. My cutters and my hands are not strong enough. I plan to hang them from cord on the porch or maybe in the living room.
I did succeed in editing things. I have let go of a few things. I am still trying to make time and room for what I want to expend energy doing.
The main thing for me is that I have not given up. Never give up. Never give in. That saying about increasing your success rate by increasing your failure rate. Fall down seven times, get up eight.
I am closer to my final goal than before. I am allowing a mess to be present on my kitchen counter while I experience creative expression. I am still trying. I have not boxed it all up and stuffed it all back in the closet and retreated to the veil of sadness.
Maybe the goal is the problem. Maybe I haven’t set the goal clearly or properly. Maybe what I think I want is not what I really want. Perhaps tomorrow things will be clearer.
At least I am a few limbs higher on the magnolia tree. I’m not sure if I have clearly explained what the reference to the magnolia tree means in previous posts. Next week, I may try to tell it.
Meanwhile, I will continue to collect orchids as they rain down in my life. Supper last Friday with my daughter and him, many phone calls from my son sharing his and her experiences in paradise, time in the beautiful woods, keeping company with that man of mine, tons of birthday wishes received. Simple things. Beautiful life. Orchids raining.