Still the Same

I’ve been reading some of my first posts in 2014.  All these years and they are still true.  Some issues remain unresolved.  Some issues have simply been deleted rather than resolved. I am still busy, but have more space between activities.

One thing I can say about myself.  I am persistent.  I perceive myself as being a quitter.  But, after reviewing my earliest posts, I seem to be steadily seeking a similar scenario.  I do have the same ambitions as I have always had.  To paint, to write, to dance.

I still love time with my family.  My family has certainly expanded! The duchesses have helped me filter through things I have been holding on to.  Just this past week, our daughter and her husband bought their first house.  That is helping me filter through things, too, somehow. Of course, several items here in this house have been saved for when she had a home to call her own. 

I continue to work on building deeper friendships.  I have been trying to be more open and vulnerable with three ladies I adore.  One is getting ready for her son’s wedding; one is mourning the loss of her mother this very day; and one is missed terribly.  She and I worked together for years and only have occasional visits. 

I have some pieces of writing done.  I have one in progress.  It has begun with the death of a young woman.  I don’t even know if she fell or was pushed.  The story is still so new.  I started it in the middle of my daily journal scribbles and it needs to be transcribed on to the computer so I can continue to work on it. 

There is a table and chairs I rescued a few years ago.  They needed refinishing, but not badly enough for me to do it for myself.  That new house of our daughter’s needs a dining table. I am refinishing the table and chairs!

The holidays are nearly upon us.  Thanksgiving feasts, Christmas decorating and baking, a few gifts to do up with paper, ribbon and bows.  Some family and friends I want to see. And one fella I am very fond of is turning 60.  I look forward to celebrating his birthday.  Nearly lost him two years ago.  How precious are family ties. 

Yes, many things are still the same after all these years of writing Raining Orchids.  And the second one I wrote spoke of how much I love Rock and how much I depend on him for strength and courage and protection. 

From January 2014:

He is just over there on the tractor, clearing some brush. He is close enough to see and if I suddenly need to touch him, I can walk over to him. He was gone fishing with his tournament partner Saturday and Sunday. Sure was a long couple of days.
I am grateful I feel this way about him. We met and fell in love thirty-one years ago this month. We’ve been through some fires and some storms. We’ve been through some miracles and some magical places. Our connection, our marriage, our love has taken on a lovely patina. I cherish him and I cherish us. I am thankful.

Some things have only grown richer and more lovely. 

Too Many

I am late writing this evening.  My day was a little busy and then I got home late and Rock had to remind me I hadn’t written.  I’ve had several topics floating around in my head for a couple of weeks. Nothing has settled with them yet, though.

Except maybe this thing. Too many.  Too many choices.  Too many opportunities.  Too many decisions.  When there were only a few choices of ice cream flavors, I could easily decide on chocolate.  Nowadays, it is hard to find the chocolate among all the many flavors available.  Interestingly, I now prefer vanilla or strawberry.  Blue Bell vanilla is easy to find. Strawberry is not.

When there were only three channels to watch, it was easy to just turn off the television and go do something else.  Maybe not so much more interesting than a favorite show, but better than what happened to be on at the time.  Now, there are so many “may be interesting” things to watch on so many different channels, plus the options to record many shows at one time for later viewing, I get caught up in too many from which to choose.

Coffee has become complicated.  I used to buy one kind of coffee and make in a plain old coffee maker.  I have an electric percolator now that I like to use, but I also have several blends of coffee to brew. I have flavored instants and a French press, too.  And several “favorite” coffee cups.

So many different recipes and foods to choose. Restaurants on every corner with all different types of cuisine.  Bottled beverages of such profusion, the cooler section takes up large walls in convenience stores.  Chips are even coming in limited edition varieties.  As if there weren’t enough flavors to figure out. 

Bookstores look like supermarkets.  Supermarkets look like malls.  And I am even lost and confused in garden centers sometimes. 

All this pondering has a recent trigger.  I would like to paint the bathroom.  That means the daunting task of selecting a paint color.  Just the right shade.  Not too light. Not too dark.  Not too green. Not too blue.  That leaves a few dozen to consider.  I really not that tired enough of the pale blue on the walls to go through all that effort.

I have never been one of those people who could say I like this and only this and that over there isn’t this, so I am not interested.  I don’t know if I am too curious or too uncertain of my own choices.  It took me forty-five years to decide on my favorite color.  Nearly that long to choose a favorite flower. 

I can barely work my way through the complicated process of a coffee shop.  I usually just get a café au lait or vanilla latte.  Though my pal and I got pumpkin spice lattes just for fun last week.  One time I ordered a Marilyn Monroe.  Though I am pretty certain, cream and sugar were her only options when she was around, this one had white chocolate in it, I think.

I came across a line someplace that basically advised to pick something and stick with it. I am trying to apply it to my thoughts.   Just figure out once and for all what is preferred by me and stop jumping around trying to not miss the latest flavor or flower or candle scent or color or style trend. 

Poor Rock. I will still be rearranging the furniture and swapping where I keep things.  But maybe he won’t be subject to so many other topsy turvy situations where I am concerned.  Maybe, I said.

He is pretty tolerant of my rearranging everything, though he makes fun of it and acts like it drives him crazy.  He is actually very tolerant and very supportive of most of my hare brained schemes.  He does help me not fall off cliffs, too.  I can never say too many times how blessed I am being his wife.  Never too many hugs.  Never too many kisses.  Never too many “I love you” whispers between us.