Yesterday was Mother’s Day. I read many posts on Facebook. Honoring mothers living and remembering those passed.
My own is gone. His is gone as well. Yes. There are many moments I wonder how different my life would be had they still been here. I miss them. I love them. I long to see them.
But, I direct my focus to my children. To being a mother. Both of them are amazing people. They live incredible lives and create positive relationships with the people around them. I am proud of them and love them more than I can sometimes contain. So much love fills me it pours from my eyes in liquid form.
I always pushed them to never be afraid. To be cautious and careful and sensible, but never afraid. They are living out their dreams. No. Life is not perfect for any of us, but they take hold and run with the opportunities presented.
I am so very grateful for my parenting partner. He is still my hero. When we met, I was confused and afraid. He fought his way through the barriers I had created around me and took hold of my heart. I still keep barriers up around myself. I still think I have hidden things. But, on occasion, he makes a comment or something and I realize, he sees through the mask I wear.
He knows the hidden things. The struggles, the disappointments, the pain. He does not let me dwell on the negative things. When I am “off-stage”, I tend to be depressed and discouraged. He knows this and watches carefully to take action if I drift too close to the edge. How many times has he pulled me back from despair that overwhelms me?
He has been father and mother to me these many years. Poor fella! Yes, I miss my mother. Yes, I miss his mother. Yes, I adore our children more than I can express. Yes, I am grateful to Him for giving me him to be my strength, my courage, my champion, my guardian.
Raining Orchids 