I did not complete the January project as planned. No real surprise there. How many plans actually go forward perfectly without a hitch?
So, now what? Should I continue with the idea? Should I back up and regroup? Should I dump the plan?
I don’t know, yet. I don’t want to think of it right now. Perhaps that is my answer. Nothing right now. Just let it go for a couple of days. Saturday has great potential as a day to think about things. I will have time to ponder over what I am going to do next.
I will have time to figure out “what now”. I am a little frustrated because I want to be doing something else. I just don’t know what the “else” is supposed to be.
If the weather permits, time outside in the sun would be a great help. I need time to look at the trees making patterns against the sky. I reviewed my personal photos. I surely love trees.
My “now what?” is to stop and look around. Look up. Keep looking up.
This past weekend, I had time on my hands. I spent most of Saturday sitting in a deer stand and part of Sunday afternoon, too.
It was raining Saturday. The woods in the rain are lovely to experience. The rush and patter of the rain. The whoosh of the wind. The dance of the trees and swirling of light over raindrops. The noisy quiet of nature.
I spent time trying to focus the vision. I know one thing for certain. I am a home keeper at heart. Everything seems to come back to home. I love to travel. But home is my vocation. I expend a great deal of energy and thought on my home. Trying to figure out how to make it better. How to make it stay cleaner. How to make it more comfortable and user friendly. How to make it kid-friendly, both crawler size kids and grown, married size kids.
If I move this over there and rearrange this closet. If I get rid of this and try to find something like that? So it goes with me. Drives him crazy. I don’t mean to make him nuts with all my moving and changing. Sometimes I get things situated and think it will work and it doesn’t. Or something changes. Or it doesn’t fit the way I thought it would.
I do the same in my deer stand. I have three chairs in each of my stands. Each chair serves a different purpose. It took me a bit to work out the best arrangement. I like to be comfortable. It is a long time sitting.
But the reward of the confined space in the open woods is great. I have to sit still and let my mind be my occupation. I take my journal and write page after page of gibberish. But, amid all the static, I hear that voice telling me this is the way. I see the light for the next step. The fog clears from the vision for a moment and I have a chance to make a note on my pages before it is shrouded again. But, this time I am not in despair. I have captured a glimpse of the vision on paper. I have words I can refer to when I get unsure again of the next step.
Take the broom and sweep. Put away the paraphernalia let over from the past days’ adventures. Clean the fish tank. Pull a few weeds. Cook a good pot of tortilla soup. Get the coffee pot ready for the morning. Figure out what tomorrow’s chores will be. Decide what closet needs attention. Another page in my life has been written. Today was a good one. A good one preceded by good ones.
I just realized I am doing what my mother and her mother always did. My mother’s sisters do the same thing, too. That constant moving and rearranging in our homes. And so the family connection flows.
I love hunting season. One of the main reasons is the time to unravel my mind. And let Him show me wonders of his world. And have time with him adventuring in the mud and rain.