Slow Start

My 2022 is starting slow.  I am trying to get over a sinus allergy flare up.  Haven’t gotten anything done I had hoped the first week. 

However, it may be a good thing.  It has made me pause before I get off in to some projects that are only half way planned.  With the holidays past and the new year launched, I feel the countdown to my July birthday going.  I always try to get things done January till July and be able to have an assessment of progress at my birthday.

I spent a lot of time in December and all last week reflecting on things past.  Trying to not become morose over the passage of time and the passing of loved ones.  I want to be sure I utilize every day to create a life I love living.

I scribble in a journal constantly.  Ideas, happenings, goals, lists, memories of yesterday and of many years ago.  A life is supposed to be examined.  Mine is often over examined.  Second guessing everything.  I have so many ideas that I generate and talk myself out of pursuing.  I always feel I will be wasting resources if something doesn’t work out or I don’t follow through.  Rather than take a risk, I reason with myself that it isn’t needful. 

That is why I am always so amazed and so proud of our children when they take risks, large and small, to pursue their dreams.  I always told them to not let fear get in the way.  Maybe this year I will take my own advice.

I don’t have any bungee jumping type ideas, just a desire to take care of some long-shelved ideas.  Stories to write.  Artwork to craft.  People to see.  Come on 2022, let’s get a move on.

This photo was sent to me from my Rock several years ago. Sunrise at Rayburn. And the morning star.

Photographs

I have been trying to get photographs moved from photo boxes to albums for 20 years.  Really. Twenty years. 

They haven’t been spread out all over the whole time.  I have gotten them out, sorted, discarded some, and boxed them back up more than once.  I couldn’t find photo albums I wanted until two or three years ago.  I got the albums and additional filler pages.  Eventually, I started loading photos only to find the first groups were too small to stay in the pockets.  I got black acid free paper and cut it to fit in the pockets and stabilize the photos.  Sometime in August, I set up the folding table and cleared the kitchen table and went at things again.  I have made very slow progress.  Slow progress is still progress. 

I find the task of sorting and deciding how to load them and the actual loading into the pockets tedious. The real challenge is seeing my tiny children in the prints.  I miss those little people so terribly much. 

I am trying to get this task complete because I do love mine and Rock’s two people and I want them and their girls, the Duchesses, to see all these pictures.

I want all of them to see all the grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, friends, too.  The family connections and where we come from.  Roots matter.  That is one of the major lessons I learned from Granny Sally.  She taught it through family stories, through visiting cemeteries and explaining the family behind the names carved in granite, through cooking her mother’s dumplings for me when she could and pinto beans when she couldn’t.  

Mother was always pulling all of us together.  Family ties matter.  Something about knowing our people creates connection.  I try to get our children together whenever we can.  We have several friends who are closer than a lot of our family members.  They create an even richer connection for us. They are included in my party tribe these days. 

I don’t remember to take pictures enough when we are all together.  I am in very few of the photos scattered on the table because I was always behind the camera. We all have phone in our pocket to take pictures.  Yet, I forget to do it.  Another thing that I don’t like is having everything digital.  I would like to have a lot of the photos saved on the computer or my social media account or a thumb drive printed into those ready-made photo books.  One of my sister friends is scanning her old prints of photos on to her computer.  It’s all a bit overwhelming for me.  There seems to be no end to this project. 

Oh, well.  I will keep progressing.  Slow, no doubt.   Slow progress is still progress.  I will keep reminding myself.