Traveling light.

“I travel light.” That is a line spoken by John Wayne in the film In Harm’s Way.

It is an idea I adopted a long time ago. Just an idea. I have not applied it across the board in my life. Yet, I want to travel light in all areas.

When it comes to going on a plane trip or to the river bank, I generally take bare basics and one or two frills. My purse could be, and sometimes is, very tiny.

I pack a small bag to go away usually. One exception is a trip he and I take to a cattle sale.  I tend to pack a lot of clothes because there is no time to wash and sometimes a need for two or three outfits a day.  An auction barn can be a pretty grubby place.

There are some additional areas in which I would like to reduce my baggage. I have a book bag.  It contains a zipper bag of pens, sticky notes, markers, paper clips, etc.  I stuff my bag with a journal, a tablet, another book or two, an envelope of odd papers and bills.  Even when I know good and well I won’t have time to even look at this stuff, I feel lost without having it along to some places.  As if something will happen and I won’t have the things I need to keep my head straight.  I want to feel more confidence in my memory.

Another item is morning coffee. I always take a cup in the car on the way.  I’ve already had a pot before I leave.  I usually only drink a sip or two on the ride.  Then, I have a travel cup of cold coffee to haul out of the car.  Extra baggage from habit.

My clothes closet truly is extra baggage. Clothes I don’t wear for a myriad of reasons. I have read about the 333 project.  Thirty three articles of clothing for three months.  Interesting reading.  Not going to happen with me.  At least not yet.  I have read about French women’s style.  Allegedly, they have a few white shirts and dark pants and a pair or two of shoes to achieve their legendary style.  More interesting reading.  I can’t pay attention long enough to put that kind of closet together.

When I look around my home and life, I don’t have as much as many Americans. I have tons more than most of world’s households.   As I get my mind ready for a plane trip, I will need to pick out what will go in a small backpack and a medium size purse.  Five nights, four days.

I want to travel light. Moments like this make me think about the baggage I carry.  What about the baggage in my heart?  Thankfully, the load seems lighter each year.  Learning to let go of the things that need to go. Learning to let be the things that need to be.  Letting it go and letting it hurt.  Letting loose and letting love flow through.

As I look back over this raveled thread of thoughts, one common thing emerges. Baggage comes in many forms.  A coffee cup, a heavy suitcase, cluttered closets, a burdened heart.  My theory is that all these areas overlap as layers.  When the layers are peeled back, truth is revealed.  What is the truth of my life?

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Sinking In

I am always reading self-improvement things.  Books, blogs, magazine articles, whatever.  Always seeking a magical answer.  The question isn’t really clear.  I cannot find a magical answer if I don’t know the magical question.

One concept I have often read about is breaking down the project into manageable tasks.  I am a very organized person.  I always think about projects and plan them in what I believe is the most sensible and efficient order.

Then, I begin said project.  I follow the plan.  The problem seems to be that I believe I can do more than I can do. I overextend myself.  I get halfway through and run out of time and/or energy.

I don’t know if I am just trying to do too much or if I am not planning a well as I think or what.  I just know I end up with a mess to clean up and a project not completed the way I imagined.  It is finally sinking in that I need to not only think of the project in steps, but I need to do the project in steps and stages.  Don’t try to change my entire world on Friday evening and Saturday afternoon.

The next chapter of this saga is about purpose.  I plan a project.  I think about the area I want to improve.  I set about the stages of the project.  I realize I am only trying to distract myself from something else.  I get bored because it is being done for the wrong reason.

If I have a project to complete, I don’t have to think about not achieving the real goals.  I can fool myself into thinking I am busy taking care of important issues.  But, only for a little while.

Suddenly, the curtain is drawn back and the truth comes out.  The great Oz is a fraud and a fake.  The truth is in the ruby slippers always with me.  Just get on with it.  The way is there.  Stop following someone else’s yellow brick road and get back to home base.  Get centered and grounded and back on the real track.

I have set myself a task and a deadline to meet it.  He is backing me 100%.  He is my partner in this life and my champion, too.  Together, we will get me where I need to be.  Following my own brick road.  Not the yellow one.

It is finally sinking in.  I must be true to myself.  I must follow my own path.  I must stop trying to take part in things I care nothing about.  Most of all, I must stop running away from my destiny.  The line in a movie that haunts me and my son:  find and fulfill your destiny.  Perhaps, it isn’t so hard to find after all.

Keep paying attention.  Keep listening to my instincts.  Keep battling the fear.  Keep pushing back the mindless distractions.  Keep pursuing life and destiny and love and truth.

 

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