Pinterest

Because I Love Her

Posted by

0

After many, many years putting it off, I am finally reading Pride and Prejudice.  Jane Austen’s wit, plot line, character development and use of the language is challenging my lazy brain.  I have spent so many years skimming over internet junk, reading the highlights of blogs, watching movies while trolling Pinterest or Instagram, my brain is lazy.  It wants the quick hits of dopamine, not the toil of paying attention and encounters with new words. 

But there is a lady in my life whom I love most dearly.  She adores this book and has read it more times than she can count.  Because of her, I am working my way through the chapters.  Our daughter with her quick wit and brilliant mind continues to challenge me to reach further and not be lazy.  It is for her, I am toiling.

I plan to watch at least one movie version of the story when I am finished.  I will try to see her recommended one.  I am considering getting Cliff Notes or Spark(?) to go along with my reading.  Perhaps it would help me appreciate the appeal of the book and the story turned into cinema more fully.

I think the thing I am struggling with is how rude nearly every character seems.  I have my moments of speaking inappropriately, but they are usually accidental due to my not paying attention to the scene I am involved with.  To be openly and deliberately rude continuously would have my mother out of her grave pinching the mess out of me.

 I have said before I wished sometimes for Julia Sugarbaker’s ability to tell someone off, but in reality, I fear my mother more.  She has been long gone, but her voice still comes to me letting me know when something is “tacky” or “ugly”.  To act or speak in such a way would get “the look” or when I was smaller, “the pinch”.  And to acknowledge I had been pinched would have been certain death.  Or at least, I thought so. 

My mother never mistreated us at all, but never allowed us to act out and embarrass her, either.  We had a certain quality called respect for our mothers.  Our children have it, too.  Don’t say anything negative about the younger generations around me.  There were as many smart mouths in my childhood as now and just as many fine, respectful young people now as then.

Good night, somebody kick this soap box out from under me!  About this book I am reading, I will likely fall in love with it, too.  Right now, it is as annoying as Mr. Darcy!!

Deleting

Posted by

0

I always want to get rid of clutter.  To get rid of the too much in my life.  To edit and refine my vision. To focus clearly on the goals.  One of the ways I have focused over the past week or two is my on-line clutter. 

I went through my pins on Pinterest and deleted more than four thousand pins. I deleted boards and edited and remade boards.  If I want to use Pinterest to help develop my focus, then ruthless editing is required.  It is a source for the vision board I wrote about a few weeks ago. 

I have a couple of friends who like to communicate through email.  I am terribly negligent checking my email.  This very morning, I went through my email and cleared out folders of old mail, cleared all the new mail, pared down to two folders to e-file items.  I want to keep up with this clutter collector and be ready to receive further communication from them.

In working on Pinterest, I reviewed pins about getting rid of clutter.  Many, if not most, advisors on de-cluttering have lists of things to get rid of that are nothing more than lists of trash.  Yes, we should get rid of things that are broken or damaged or missing parts.  But, so much of the mess I keep is not broken, damaged or missing parts.  Much is barely used.  Much is terribly sentimental. 

I can probably work my way through the barely used.  It is the sentimental that gives pause.  I have a plan to work toward my overall goal.  If I cull every single item possible from the non-sentimental items, I will have space to display, to use, to store for easy access, those items that are sentimental.  Right?

I spent a couple of hours reading over past posts related to home keeping and this very line of thought.  In over seven years, my song has not changed much.  I found my posts from years ago sounding like I wrote them a couple of months ago. 

I do have one change to note.  In the past, realizing that would have made me feel frustrated, anxious, like a failure, hopeless.  Now, my feelings are of respect for my own determination.  My problems are not solved.  I have not evolved as much as I had hoped.  I feel I have a long way to go to reach my goals regarding my home keeping.  But I have persisted.  Persistence is key to resolving issues, to making progress, to having success in any endeavor. 

I sometimes feel I am not moving along as I desire because I haven’t improved my strategy.  I am doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.  That could be true.  Still, I continue to seek new ways to work, new angles or attitudes to pursue.  I know I am recognizing some behaviors that are counter to my desired end.  I know I am not doing things as emotionally reactive as I once did.  I believe I am more deliberate and quicker to catch myself when I am not being deliberate. 

In thinking about my first 13 months retired, I will say I haven’t done a lot of things I thought I would.  Maybe because when confronted with no excuses, I find those things aren’t as appealing as they were hiding behind the curtain of “someday”.  I have a number of items on my list that are still appealing.  They require my pushing out of the cocoon I have created.  They require my using the planner I got for my birthday to schedule the tasks needed to get closer to doing those items.  They require me deleting ideas and mindsets that keep me distracted doing what doesn’t matter to me and prevents my challenging myself to do what does matter.  They also require my paying attention to how I feel about them as they roll to the front of the pursuit.  I must be diligent to hit “delete” whenever needed to keep myself on the correct path.   

I hear my daughter reminding me, I only have to keep, to do, to be what makes me happy.  What I choose to pursue in my pursuit of happiness is just that.  My choice.  She not only looks like her father, she sounds like him. 

I will continue to delete things from my home, my life, my mindset.  I may never reach the point I call “the click”.  That point when something inside me clicks and says, “Ta Da!! This is it!”  But it is something to pursue. 

Not every life has to be headline making.  There aren’t enough headlines for that.  My life needs only those headlines I see on my to do lists.  Headlines filled with adventures in blow up pools in the backyard, walks along woodland trails, rides among longhorn cattle, rainy afternoons on the glitter carpeted back porch. Those things must never be deleted.  Those are the true sentimental things I want to display, to use, to store in memory.