Tiny Duchess

The year has started already and I am slow to start with it.  No resolutions. No new goals.  Just continue to make time with the Duchesses. 

The two older ones are busier these days. I will need to work harder to get in their schedule.  That is part of the process of growing up.  I am thankful I am still able to go and do with them. I am anxious to have a weekend with them again.  I am missing my no longer little Duchesses.

The little one has a hold on me like no one. The first two were a pair.  A lot of time we have is the two of them playing with each other. I suppose it is because in the first days of this Tiny Duchess, I was with my little one so much more.   Or more likely, it is the place I am in my life now.  Older, retired, more time on my hands.  Maybe it is just her.    

At any rate, if I go too many days without seeing her, I start to feel unsettled.  We are hoping she will be ready to spend the night with us soon.  She is like her Paw Paw.  Wants to sleep in her own bed in her own room at her own house.  Don’t tell Paw Paw, but Granny is getting that way, too.

Over my lifetime, I have spent a lot of time with little ones.  Babies and toddlers and preschoolers.  I have known a lot of very sharp little minds.  This tiniest Duchess seems to have an edge on all of them.  I did notice a touch of stubbornness yesterday.  Certainly not her father’s hard headedness, but just a little of wanting to do something and not as easily redirected. 

She is always talking about her Paw Paw.  Wakes up in the morning asking for him, cries for him when she gets tired.  He plays with her like a kid.  The baby whisperer, he has been called.

 Watch his face when he talks to a little one.  He is fully engaged and animated.  To the rest of the world, he is rough around the edges and tough as old boot leather.  But, with children, he is laughter and tickles and tumbling and racing.  It has been said very accurately that you cannot be sensitive and be friends with him.  That is true.  But, not for little ones, certainly not for the Duchesses.  And absolutely not for the Tiny Duchess. 

Winter Days

I’m sitting at the south window of our bedroom looking out at sun dappled woods.  The pale winter sky peaks through a mix of intricate gray lace and pine green plumes. 

This is my darkest month.  I have always struggled with the cold dark days of February.  The odd thing about my trouble is that I love the winter.  I love all the seasons in their turn.  It doesn’t seem logical that I would struggle emotionally through any of them.  I love the steel gray of the low sky that comes with the Southeast Texas winter.  The long shadows that stretch across the land and the colored leaves which cling to trees till spring ones push them off at last. 

I have promised myself I will do all the things needed to not let the bottom fall out of my emotions. What are all the things?  Seeking sunlight at every opportunity.  Lighting candles everywhere.  Soaking in a hot tub of bath water in the evenings.  Getting fully dressed even when staying in for the day.  Riding with him when he goes on cow business.  Making time for friends.  Making time for Duchesses.  Making myself see the beauty around me.    

I have set myself a real challenge.  This Valentine weekend, I plan to have both Duchesses spend two nights.  We may go to a birthday party Saturday I’ve been invited to or we may stay here and have the tea party I had already planned.  It will depend on how well we all sleep Friday night for the most part. 

Thinking about the weekend, making plans, gathering supplies, making ready has been a very good way to keep the gloomies at bay.  Looking forward to all the love and affection exchanged between the three of us is a perfect way to keep my heart up. 

Most importantly, I am trusting in the Lord to comfort me as He always has.  Rock helps me get through this.  I have him and some others who pray specifically for my difficult days of winter. 

This year they don’t seem so dark after all…………………