The weekend was well spent. A major chore was completed. I had snuggle time with my great nieces. I took some time with him. I got to walk in the woods soaking up fresh air and sunshine, listening to birdsong.
On the walk, I constantly noticed the violets. Some were blooming and some were just sprouting out of the leaf litter on the forest floor. I always think of my mother when I see them. She would love to ride up to the park to see if the one particular section was full of blooms.
The birds have been filling my ears and heart with joyful sound. I sometimes wish I didn’t have a cat so I could put out bird feeders near the house and watch them come and go.
Everything is springing to life. It is just coming awake from its slumbering winter. Time for me to do the same. Shake off the slumber of the recent days and spring to life. Push through the debris of things and spring to a fresh outlook.
The air has changed. Even if we have more cold temperatures, spring is upon us. Green buds peek from tips of limbs. Weeds are more than ankle deep. Bird songs have changed. He heard geese traveling north the other evening.
I am restless with the changing season. Wanting a change. Not knowing what to change. I am ready to get my plants off the porch. Ready to rearrange the furniture for the changing light. The daybed is in one corner for winter sun and will be moved to another corner for summer shade.
The azaleas should be in bloom within a week. Already the redbuds bring vibrant hope. I love every season in its turn. I celebrate the fading of one and the coming of another.
The transitions remind me of the ever-turning pages of time. I am reminded to seize this moment and be joyous at the life pulsing through my veins.
The difficulties we face today will be overcome and become distant memories. I know this because it has happened before. We have faced difficulties and with His Help, we have overcome them in the past. There are some things that happen which must be endured until the end of life. Most things pass.
Challenges are to be faced. I may have moments of weakness and feel overwhelmed with fear. But, I must not give in to the fear. I must stand and face the lions in the den. Fear leads to confusion and poor or delayed decisions. Fear leads to despair. Fear leads to bitterness and anger.
I watched a movie once. I have it on DVD. I cannot bear to watch it again. I love it, but it is emotionally taxing. What I learned from the movie is simply to feel the cold and not fear it. Feel the pain. Feel the heartbreak. Feel the feelings. Do not fear them. I don’t know if I would see all of that if I watched it again. I doubt anyone else would find that message in the movie 300.
It corresponds with my Grandmother telling me about childbirth to let go and let it hurt. I had both of my children without pain medication. It was not easy to let go and let it hurt. But, it was worth it.
The current challenges I face will pass. I have a choice. I can face them with good humor and a smile or I can make myself miserable along with everyone around me. No matter the outcome of the situation, I have a choice about what I think and what I allow myself to feel.
I want to get through this happy and laughing at the moments that exist between the battles. I want to be able to focus on the battles when they are before me and leave them on the field when the time for rest comes. I do not want to be covered with the smell of fear. I hate feeling fear more than just about anything.
I will be strong for him. I will be faithful for Him. I will not fear. I have my sanity and His Salvation. And a thousand other blessings………………………………..